The only thing worse than a poorly run meeting is a poorly run meeting filled with people who are behaving poorly. 

So how do you get people to bring their best selves to meetings?  Here are a few tips:

1. Run a great meeting. Easier said than done, of course, but people will absolutely be more likely to be engaged and positive if their experience at the meeting is engaging and positive. (And we just happen to know a consulting firm than can come in and help you learn to run great meetings!)
 

2. Collaboratively Create a Code of Conduct. Don’t create a list of meeting behaviors and hang it on the conference room wall and expect that all your meeting behavior problems are going to magically disappear. It never works that way. What does work is collaborating together with your team to create your own meeting behavior expectations.

The process: Divide your team into small groups, and ask them to discuss this: What are the meeting participant behaviors that we want to cultivate and encourage, and what behaviors do we not want to see, in order to help us have effective and enjoyable meetings? 
 
After they’ve had 10 minutes or so to process together, reconvene and ask them to take turns, group by group, contributing one item to the DO and DON’T list that you’re writing on the white board in front of the room. Continue cycling through until every group’s ideas are represented. See if you can get concurrence on each item, and feel free to “pull rank” (gently) if there’s disagreement. 
 
Your final list might look something like this:
 

DO
 
Be engaged and participate
Bring a positive attitude
Be authentic; disagree with grace
Listen well
Be mindful of your airtime
Help the facilitator stick to the agenda
Be on time & come prepared

DON’T
 
Don’t use electronics
Don’t be overly negative
Name call, use sarcasm, anger, etc.
Don’t interrupt
No “side bars” (private conversations)
Avoid “rabbit trails”
Don’t ignore “homework” or come in late

Once you’ve agreed upon a set of standards, write them up and distribute them the following week, accompanied by a discussion. Maybe embed the list on the back of your agenda for a few months (or years).

3. Ask for feedback from the team on what they need from you for your group to experience consistently effective and enjoyable meetings. Are there topics they’d like to spend more (or less) time on? Is the agenda you’re using adequate, or do they have suggestions for improvement? What would they like to see different in terms of your facilitation techniques? Ask, listen, and adjust. The more open to feedback you are, the more open to positive change they will be. 

4. Hold people accountable for poor meeting behaviors. Remember, what you allow, you teach. Gently redirect during meetings, reign in side bars and rabbit trails, and have private, “Hey, can you help me out during meetings” conversations to help coach employees toward more helpful behaviors. 

5. Check in with your team every six to twelve months regarding meetings. What is going well?  What would they like to see improved?  Brainstorm, listen, make a plan, and implement. 

Remember: Meetings are a microcosm of the larger organizational culture. When you improve meetings, you positively impact the culture.